I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Sext me about skeletons
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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