He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
should my penis look like a turkey
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
