i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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