i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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