I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
