you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think I am morally bankrupt
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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