that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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