HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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