i always forget guys have bellybuttons
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
