you guys were way drunker than both of me
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You have to summon your inner elephant
In other news, I just burned my penis
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize