hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
