we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
