If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
