I accidentally had phone sex last night
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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