Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
