Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
His hands were made for my vagina.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
