I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
