Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
