i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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