I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize