Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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