going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Actions speak louder than pants.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
