Christians are straight up FREAKS
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
