so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
