he wants to bone in the snuggie
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
