I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize