first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
