More tranny stories later!
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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