He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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