i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
