We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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