Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
