I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize