Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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