i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
