HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize