I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
