fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
