1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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