I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
