She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
