i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
