Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
