Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
