I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
