I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
