When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
