the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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