I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
