I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
