I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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