Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
