I love black thongs
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
