Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
