no, he came in my armpit
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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