You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
