we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
