come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If I die, sorry about rent.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
