At least make sure they are 18
Why
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Bring me that man meat
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
