So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
