I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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