and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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